Moving On

It finally feels like my life is moving on. I've been discharged from my bankruptcy , my divorce is moving along. Slowly, but its moving. I've stopped beating myself up about my past mistakes. I,m just going to concentrate on me for a while. I realized i have ignored lots of friends this past year. I'm surprised many are still my friends.The problem is when i am  hurt and in pain i retreat deep into my head and i don,t want to talk to anyone. So,i am not an easy person to be around.
I went away for a month and this helped me to get my life back in prospective.

This past week i have started reconnecting with my old friends. Tuesday night K was staying overnight some place so i had no reason to go straight home after work.  So, i went to my friend Paul,s house after work at 11pm. We both love old horror movies. So, we watched a mutual favorite
The 1986 version of The Omen. We drank wine, ate chocolate and had a really fun time. It was 3am when i got home and i slept in really late the next day.
Normally, it wouldn't of mattered that i slept in late but i had arranged to go to a former Sub piglets house for lunch. He had wanted to cook me a belated birthday lunch. I really can shower and dress really fast when the need arises. He barbecued me a wonderful steak. We had so much fun visiting i was nearly late for work. He said even though i told him last year because of my physical injury i was releasing all subs of their obligations to me , that in his heart i would always own him. He said he wanted no other mistress i own him forever. I admit to being especially touched by his words
Piglet is a man of his word i know and certainly not a man i would cross or want as my enemy.

I've started doing activities that make me happy. I've started reading again. I hadn't read in a while. My head wouldn't quiet enough for me to concentrate.
If anyone is looking for a good thriller to read ive just finished The Woods by Harlan Coben. Not, his best novel but certainly one with a twist i didn't see coming at the end.
Im back to enjoying working in the garden. I filled planters with herbs,and fuchsias and impatiens. I have tomato plants growing in pots and hanging baskets adoring the front door.
I realize i dont need to plan my life and make big decisions. Ive opened a savings account and started putting money into it. For now i can just enjoy each day as it comes. If the day comes when i feel i need to make plans then i will have the money to do them.

For some reason this week im drawn to the dark,haunting melodies of Leonard Cohen. He's certainly drawing out the darker side of me. Not in a depressing way though.