Courage

What a horrible week. I just want it to end.

My good friend had phoned me on Monday saying she had chest pain and asked me what to do. I told her to go to emergency, if it's serious your wasting time going to the doctor first. I suspected from her description a heart problem but after being admitted and 3 days of tests she's diagnosed with Liver Cancer. I'm trying to be positive and strong for her but inside I'm in shock and trying to deal with it . I deal far better with being sick myself.

 Another friend left her husband on Tuesday. Very unexpected she just moved out while he was at work. She said people don't know what goes on behind closed doors and that's very true. I also understand the planning involved in doing a flit like that. The people slamming her for not telling him prior or trying counselling obviously have never experienced what it's like to live with an abusive partner. I admire her courage sometimes physical fear and been left destitute with your children leaves us paralyzed and unable to make a smart choice. Especially when we feel isolated because our family lives in another country. Sometimes we are lucky enough to have people sent by God to empower us and help us to regain our confidence, self esteem and regain control over our lives. 


                                                     

Very good question and one I wish I could answer.    



                     As if my friends tribulations were not enough to contend with , the thing causing me most stress was the fact Doomsayer (aka husband) , refused to go to work all week. He said he's sick. But, he's only sick until the liquor store opens. He's spent the entire week sat on the couch watching the same channel rerun after rerun. Then yesterday he got into a fight with my oldest son. When I came home from work he was locked in the bathroom. He couldn't phone me because I took his cell phone off him a year ago after an incident when I was at a funeral. A story for another time. He had pushed my son too far and was afraid he was going to hit him. I went outside to speak to my son who said he was provoking him calling him abusive names and poking him. I'm proud my son had enough self control not to punch him since he's twice doomsayers size. I told my son to go to his friends house until things settled down. My son didn't want to go but I said I'd be fine dealing with him. Of course the name calling switched attention to me but I just ignored him and tried to watch tv . Eventually he fell asleep and I rewatched a couple of shows since I hadn't been able to watch them properly earlier then I went to bed. I heard him slam his bedroom door at 3am. Then I'm awake and I have to up at 5am for work. So, I'm exhausted this morning. The only bright spot in my week was meeting my special friend twice. His face just makes me smile and I feel so safe curled up in his arms. He certainly makes the bad days livable.

Today Will Never Happen Again Enjoy It

I woke up at 4am absolutely freezing. My bedroom window was open and I didn't want to get out of my cozy bed to close it. Since I sleep all alone in my own bedroom I don't have a bed partner to wake up and tell to close the window. So, instead I put pillows inside the bed on either side of me and grabbed a throw from the bottom of the bed and tucked it around my neck. That warmed me up and made me all snug and I fell back asleep until 8am. 

  I had a long to do list this morning, but I was more interested in coffee to keep me awake. My own fault as usual I didn't get home until late . My friend from a post titled " A place in my heart forever " had been texting me all evening at work and we decided to talk on the phone after I'd done work. An hour later we are still talking. He was telling me about a very interesting business trip he had involving 3 Thai dancers and a Ladyboy. No more details will be leaving my lips on here. I caught him up to date on my life and he gave me some man advice. Sometimes it's good to get advice on men from men they know how they think.
 


More Questions.

What's the best thing you got from your parents. That would be my brother. I  love my younger brother. Even though he was the favoured child I never held that against him. He was and still is a wonderful selfless caring person. If our parents gave him something and didn't give anything to me he would always try to share it with me. He would get a knife and cut up a chocolate bar and give me half saying your the best big sister and I love you.

Are you beautiful. That's an easy one to answer no. I'm not really ugly but certainly not pretty.  I did however win a beauty pageant when I was 18. My friend and I only entered on a whim last minute to annoy a former school friend of ours. It was certainly a case of improvising since we didn't have anything practiced. I treated it as some fun, doing a dance routine on stage that I made up as I went. I gave hilarious answers to the stupid questions . I had everyone in tears laughing. No one was more shocked than me when I won. However I think I won more on personality than beauty. Our former school friend in a few years went on to become Miss UK and later an actress. She was a very beautiful lady and I could claim to fame that I beat her in a pageant but in all honesty I was in no way as beautiful as her.


I love Pinterest and I cant believe how accurate this ENFJ stuff is.

 

Midnight and Tea.

So, I'm positive my workplace is cursed. Not in a spooky way, which would be cool. My workplace only opened in January, we are currently on manager number 4. This is her first week working alone and she's showing the stress. It's only Thursday and so far this week she's had 7 residents admitted to hospital from falls sustaining fractures. Two staff quit, one not giving notice. The Chef going on a rant saying staff are to stay out of his kitchen ( the exception being me lol ). Plus all the hassle from family members and management. I feel sorry for her. No amount of money would tempt me to do her job.   


 I've had a good morning so far. A good workout at my Zumba class, followed by a long phone chat with db. Now I'm relaxing with a cup of Chocolate Macaroon tea watching an episode of Midnight Texas

 

Some more answers to questions. 

 If you were the only person left on earth what would you do ? Probably die. Although my son in law swears I'd survive the apocalypse. He thinks I'm very resourceful thinking outside the box. I can fish and hunt. Although its many years since ive done either. So , probably my time would be spent siphoning gas to run vehicles to get around and having a dog for my companion. 

 This one is for db. Who asked what lotion I use. Right now it's Hempz Vanilla/ plum.

 






This is a song db dedicated to me a few years ago by the wonderful Nina Simone.

Purple Unicorn Poop - A Psychedlic day ahead

When I'd finally partially recovered from my NyQuil induced stupor yesterday I finally got around to watching the 90 minute finale of season 7 Game Of Thrones. All I'm asking now is how long to the next season. 

 I need to know how they defeat the white walkers and the Night king. Or do they !!!!

Is Daenerys going to have a baby with Jon Snow.?

 Will he finally be told his real name is Aegon ?  Personally I'd say stick with the name Jon.

Thank the lord Arya killed Littlefinger. Evil little man. Although no one comes close to Ramsey. He was the ultimate evil sadist. I hated him so much, but a brilliant character.
All in all a wonderful final episode and so many great things to come in the future.

 Today I got up early. I had a really good visit with a friend after work last night and when I got home I felt so rapturous and relaxed that I snuggled up to my pillow and fell instantly asleep.

 When I got up I had my breakfast and headed off to my Aquafit class at 7.45am. I really enjoy going to the gym and my fitness classes. They do nothing for my weight ( darn meds Prednisone and Synthroid  ) but  what they more importantly do is they keep me strong, fit and reduce my stress levels.  

Don't you just love it when President Donald goes off script. Calling the North Korean leader Rocket Man is just classic. I wonder if Sir Elton will be suing for infringement rights for using his song title. 

 On a more serious note I'm now heading to my kitchen to try out a new recipe I found on Lord Byrons Kitchen for Unicorn Poop cookies. I think I'm only making them because they are my favourite colour purple. 😊




Prince my all time favourite singer. I'm just grateful I got to see him in concert before he left us too soon. Thank you for the music.

Zombie Ahead

Having just woken from a drug induced sleep I feel like a zombie. As much as I love Zombies I don't have any wish to be one. I couldn't sleep last night and decided at 2am to take some NyQuil. It knocked me out completely and now I'm finding it hard to stay awake. So, if I drift off writing about something totally intangible blame Vicks not me. 

Saturday afternoon my sons suggested we go out for supper. So, after debating a few restaurants we all decided on a personal favourite of ours Las Palapas. We just love Mexican food. The only negative hubby aka The Doomsayer decides he wants to come. Normally he never ventures off his couch .He lies there all weekend with occasional leg stretches for bathroom breaks. All meals have to be served to him there otherwise he'd starve to death.

 I told my sons they could drive my new car. They were like kids at Christmas. They had my sunroof open, programmed my wifi in the car to their phones, they must of flicked through every channel on Sirius radio. I watched with fascination not wanting to admit that old mama didn't know she could do all those things on her car. Doomsayer was getting irritated in the car because they kept changing channels. Then he didn't like where they parked. The boys just shrugged their shoulders and took off to the restaurant leaving me to cox him out of his tantrum and get him out of the car. We ordered food and my son ordered for him since he wouldn't open the menu. The only time he showed interest was when the waitress asked if he wanted beer. I could feel my stress level rising and thought what the heck I'm not driving and ordered a Mexican Mudslide. Oh my goodness that was a good drink. Very potent but just went down so smooth. My food was delicious. Burrito with refried  beans and rice. Doomsayer actually ate his food but spent the whole time complaining about everything else. So, summing my evening up. Fantastic food shame about the company.

I know my blog readers probably think I'm mean when I talk about Doomsayer. But, remember don't judge someone by the page you walk into on their life. You don't know what transpired before that page to get them there. ( The exception to my above statement being db who has known me long enough that he's lived through many pages of my life ).  

IT 's been a busy week

Where has this week gone ?  I had so many plans of things to do with my mornings since I was on late shift. Mainly involving me lounging around in PJ's , drinking coffee and watching the final 3 episodes of Game Of Thrones. I still haven't managed to see one episode.

My friends have just overwhelmed me with lunch and coffee. I know I've been AWOL for a few weeks but I hadn't expected people to miss me so much. The other downside being my blogs are being left unattended. Maybe I need a double to help me out.  

  Saturday I went to watch IT at the movie theatre. I loved it. I love something that makes me jump. There is no terrifying gory scenes if your a fan of that. I don't think you need gory scenes to be scared. My all time favourite scary movie is The Haunting (1962) , not the more recent version.  You see nothing scary but the noises and rickety spiral staircase always give me chills. I remember as a young child watching the old Hammer Horror movies. They used to have a countdown before a scary scene. Saying you have 10 seconds to leave the room. That countdown was far more terrifying than anything they ever had behind the door. By the time it hit 3 I'd be hiding behind a cushion peaking out.

 Even though I'm not a true gore fan on hearing Jigsaw from Saw is back on Halloween in a new movie I just have to go.


  

The song today is from my childhood idol Siouxie. Ive loved her music since I was a teenager. The song today I dedicate to db. He will understand why.

Save A Life

                                Have you ever saved a life ?  I have a few times mainly job related, but not always.A few years ago in my previous job. I was caring for a lady with terminal cancer in her sixties. Her main caregiver was her son who was close to my age and who had moved back home after the end of a relationship. I grew very close to the family after going there twice a day for a year. I went one evening and noticed her vitals were down. I phoned the ambulance but she passed away the following day. I went to visit the son and he thanked me for noticing the change in his mothers condition and said he was grateful for the few hours he had to say goodbye to her.  He wrote a lovely tribute to me in her obituary and seemed to be in an upbeat mood after the funeral. A few weeks had passed and I was just finishing work for the day when I had this feeling something was wrong with him. I've learnt from the past to trust my gut feelings and even though I had plans I decided to drive to his house if only to put my mind to rest. When I got there I knocked. No reply. I tried the door and it was open. I opened and called it was me. No reply. I walked in and could hear crying. As I got closer I realized it was from his mothers room. I walked in and he was sobbing and then I saw the blood and realized he had slit his wrists. I phoned the ambulance and grabbed towels to wrap his wrists. Then lay him down and I lay behind him hugging him. He survived and we are still close friends. I encouraged him to join groups to make friends, and even went with him until he felt comfortable. We also meet up every few weeks for a drink or some food and text a few times a week. I have to keep a little detachment from him because I don't want him getting to attached and dependant on me.                                                                       When I was fifteen I'd gone on a minibus trip to a neighbouring town to a disco. This is back in the seventies. So, I could just say I was the legal drinking age no one asked for any proof. I won't go into a long drawn out story but instead I'll get straight to the point. The town I lived in and The neighbouring town both had gangs who were in dispute with each other. A truce had been called for the night. My boyfriend at the time was the leader of the other towns gang. Towards the end of the night he pulled me aside and said his gang was going to attack my towns gang and that they had weapons. He told me to grab my friends and get back to the minibus, and that they had been told they'd answer to him if I even got a scratch. So, I grabbed my friend and we started running. As we ran past a pub we saw a male school friend passed out on the grass outside. We could hear the screams and yells from the fighting and knew the mob was getting close. We dragged him as far as we could and put him behind a bush. The gang saw us and wanted him but I put myself between him and them. I was terrified but stood my ground and told them they'd have to go through me first. I just hoped my voice didn't betray the trembling. Eventually they decided to leave us alone saying they didn't want a kicking or worse from my boyfriend. Once we were sure they'd gone we carried him back to the minibus. He still to this day swears I saved his life. He even helps my brother out sometimes saying no charge, I owe your sister my life. I don't know that I did that but I certainly saved him from serious injury.       
  

Who's Bright Idea Was This ?

Yesterday I was suffering the effects of one of my vagary moments. I have just finished my overnight rotation at work. So, someone had a bright idea to finish work then drive without sleep to Moose Jaw to spend a day there with my daughter and then return home the next day . Yes, you guessed it my idiotic idea.

 It's a monotonous boring drive at the best of times , just add in the problem of trying to stay awake. I stopped off half way to stock up on coffee and glosette chocolate raisins. By the time I arrived I was exhausted and starving. I met my daughter in the hotel room and we decided to go eat and get tickets for the tunnels. We went to the casino across the road and I looked at the menu. I was prepared to eat there but my daughter didn't like the choices. So, we left and went to the tunnels. Only to be told they were sold out for the day. WTF could nobody not of informed me you needed to buy tickets in advance. By this time I'm in a snarly, bitchy mood and about to bite off and spit out the head of the next person that dares to utter a word to me. My daughter suggests returning to the hotel so I can sleep and she'll go swimming. I settled down with my latest book Digital Fortress- Dan Brown. I didn't even manage a page before falling into a deep, deep sleep for 3 hours.

When I woke up I felt I'd slept for days. I goggled places to eat and found there was a shopping mall I'd driven past on my way in. I couldn't recall seeing it but if it's on the internet it's true right. On star was obviously confused as well since it kept taking us to the wrong place. Eventually we found it and finally a bit of better luck. They have a Canadian Brewhouse which does an awesome selection of gluten free food.  Since By this time I hadn't eaten in 21 hours I just loaded up on carbs. Eggs benny and hash browns. I was a little pissed I could only finish half the plate though. I even splashed out on the walk back to the car on a fridge magnet.
 .

I thought I'd do my bit to keep the local economy in business.

Vagary

Just love this word. A wild , unusual idea or desire . Something I seem to have on a regular basis.

As you can see from these photos I took in North Dakota I sometimes do things without any thought. Far too close to the buffalo and black bear if they had decided to attack me.

•    
•  As requested a few people are interested to know more about me . So , some more answers to questions below , and by all means keep the questions coming. I'm also still struggling with this blogging app. Anyone have suggestions of a better one     
•    How do you   judge  people?                                                                                          
•  I judge people on how they treat others. I have friends from different races, different countries from alternative lifestyles . They are all wonderful people who I am proud to call my friends. If I dislike you it's because your not a nice person. If I hate you then you've done something like belittling or bullying my friends. If you upset someone I care about your likely to feel the wrath of my anger. Funnily though you can say what you like about me and it won't even evoke an eye roll. I have no interest in people's perception of me. I know who I am and what's important to me.  
•          What things do people think are weird about you?

 I'm an extreme couponer. You may have seen the tv show. Well that's me. Coupon cutter and scourer of the internet for free stuff. I have a room dedicated to my stockpile. If I have stuff I don't need I use it to make up baskets for the women's shelter or I sell it.  


 I love horror stuff. So, don't be surprised to see a skull or two in my house. 

   I'm obsessively organized and a perfectionist. Which means I find it hard to allow people to help me because they don't do it the way I want. My family would never dare to make my bed. Every morning I pull the sheets off and make it perfectly straight and then my scatter cushions have to be set just right. My two younger children seem to of inherited their mothers OCD and are also very organized . I think I inherited it off my grandmother who I was brought up by. She ran her home like a military operation. Beds had to be made before breakfast and she'd inspect the room while you were eating. The table had to be set perfectly for every meal. Napkins, complete cutlery set exactly correct. Even if you were only having a bowl of cereal. 

   

          What are my favourite websites?    

  Pinterest, Facebook, Smart Canucks, BBC World News , Zulily, Instagram, Flylady. I do go on adult sites but surprisingly rarely .

Let's check those mankillers

     

       

 

 

 Did you know there are 99 different words for breasts. Check here if you want to read them.                                I had my mammogram yesterday morning. I can't understand why so many women avoid it. It doesn't hurt, uncomfortable yes but certainly not painful. I was there about 10 minutes. She said there was no change from the one two years ago. So, that's reassuring. The pic is me waiting to go in.



                          


 I'm trying out this new mobile blogging app . It's either not as easy as it claims or I just need more time playing around with it.