Personal Growth

 

I found something on Pinterest yesterday called a personal growth review. It's questions based on finding yourself. Here's a few questions and my answers.

Have you ever faced a fear. Yes, I'm afraid of deep water. I nearly drowned when I was three after falling into a river. I actually love swimming though.

 I decided to face my fears and go snorkelling in the Marietta Islands in Mexico.

 

I jumped off the boat and had a panic attack and was spinning around in the water screaming. A nice guy came over got me to lie on my back and take deep breathes. Once I'd calmed down I rationalized I wasn't going to drown since I had a life jacket on. I had a rush of courage and thought I'm going to try it. So, I moved onto my stomach and put my face in the water. I'd love to tell you I saw beautiful fish and it was a wonderful experience. However, truthfully I wouldn't open my eyes I was terrified I'd see the abyss. So, instead I just swam around and was ecstatic when the tour guides announced we were going to stop snorkelling and instead go swim through the cave into the hidden beach. The hidden beach was incredible and I see that as my reward after my feeble attempt at snorkelling. That is an actual pic of me snorkelling. Good luck if you can find me.

 My favourite book and why. I actually have two favourites and I can't separate them. My first is Stephen Kings The Stand. I love the epic tale of the fight between God and the good people left after the plague and the devil and the bad people. I've often thought about having Moon tattooed on myself as a tribute. If you've read the book you'll understand the significance of the word.

The other book is Wuthering Heights. The passion between Cathy and Heathcliff that's what I've always wanted to experience. That lustful want.

I went to Haworth many years ago, the childhood home of Emily Bronte. It's such a remote place I can but imagine the isolation the family felt. No wonder they lived in fantasy worlds in their heads.

 If money was no object what would I do. I'd travel the world. There is so much I want to see and experience. I have a bucket list of places I want to go. I'm hoping my budget will allow me to cross one more place off before the end of the year.

 What practical skills do I wish I had. Definitely anything car related. My limit is putting gas in. I have no clue about anything else. I really think I should do some basic auto maintenance course.

 What are you most proud of. That's easy my children. My greatest joy in the world.

What did you want to be when you were younger . I wanted to be a news reporter or a writer. Even today those would be my dream jobs.

 

Be Happy

What an amazing weekend I had. Truly one of the best I've had in I don't know how long. ( If you read my post Decisions, Decisions back in July you'll understand my joy at this post ) .

Saturday I finally went car shopping. I'd noticed Friday I was leaving a trail of coolant as I was driving and decided I could no longer prolong the process. I had a male friend offer to come with me. Which I was very grateful for since my knowledge of cars is zero. I had an idea of the car I wanted. So, off we go to the dealership. My male friend was very useful. The salesman was giving us his speech and telling me I needed all this crap. Which I honestly had no clue if I needed or not. My male friend spoke up saying I didn't need all this stuff just the package that contains the remote start. I'll need that for winter. So, 4 hours later I'm leaving with a brand new shiny car. I've never owned a brand new car before. I was so excited. Bonus was I didn't need to put as much of a down payment as I thought and I was able to keep a couple of thousand back for a holiday. Yippee. I'll need to take the holiday before Christmas I don't want to go too close to my grand babies delivery date.

 Sunday, I got up early. I made scalloped potatoes, with bacon, fresh chives from the garden , cheese and my delicious sauce. Put a nice salad together and then put it all in the fridge for supper. Then I phoned the Berry Barn and booked an early lunch table for the family. I needed to give the car a good run and since it was a beautiful day that's a lovely place to go. We had a fabulous lunch and a nice walk after to finish it off.

 

 

When I arrived home I took my book, a nice glass of Smirnoff Sangria and went to sit in the sun. My book is so good it's very difficult to put it down. ( The Chameleon's Shadow by Minette Walters. ) I did at some point fall asleep though. I woke up when the cat decided to jump onto my lap and nearly scare me to death . After supper I had a nice luxurious bath and then settled down to watch the last two episodes of season one of The Last Kingdom. I must admit I do have a thing for Uhtred. 

 

 

Good Afternoon,Buenas Tardes,Bonne Apres-Midi

 

Jesus doesn't care how many bible verses you have memorized. He cares how you treat people.

Why do women feel the need to bear the most intimate details of their life to their stylist at the hair salon. I can never understand that ( just write a blog and tell the world your secrets I say) Anyway I was sat there last night and my stylist and myself were very intently following the saga this woman was relaying about her boyfriend, some other women and a baby. My stylist doesn't speak very good English yet and I had to explain certain things to her. Then she's shocked people talk in public like that.

I really like my stylist she's a refugee who came here as a young widow with 4 children. She's a cousin of a friend of mine who also came as a refugee 19 years ago. My friend told me her cousin couldn't get clients because no one would book with her because she couldn't speak English. So I booked and just let her do her thing with my hair. I love that she always changes it up every time I go there. She has a number of clients now. Once people saw how good her work was they overlooked the language barrier. All she needed was a chance to show her talents.  

   I've lived in many different countries lots of them didn't speak English. I never found it a problem communicating. You just need to make an effort. I learnt to speak simple sentences in their language and pointing and gestures are very useful . I'm a naturally very friendly person and always happy. Always something in life to smile about. So, people it seems are always drawn to me. They find me approachable. Sometimes though men do misinterpret my friendliness as being a sign I'm interested in them. Luckily over the years I've developed ways to deal with it. That allows them to get out of the awkward situation with ego intact.  

Not A Total But A Partial

 

 

I eagerly awaited our partial solar eclipse yesterday. It was great although not as awesome as a total eclipse. I see President Donald did not put on appropriate eyewear to view the eclipse. What I want to know is where were his bodyguards. Kevin Costner would of been there diving in front of him saying take my eyes.  Jesting aside viewing the sun without protection was not a very sensible thing to do.

I was able to witness a total eclipse back in the seventies, when I was a wee schoolgirl. Well actually I was in high school so not that small .That was incredible.

 

 I heard Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the heart was  topping the  ITunes downloads.  Funnily when that song was released  in 1983 people thought I resembled her. Couldn't see it myself. We had the same hairstyle and were born in the same country. That's about the extent of our resemblance I suspect.

 

 Today was my first day back at work. I hated the alarm going off at 5am. It felt like I'd been away for months not a week but I got back into it really fast. My work colleagues were ecstatic  I was back. They missed my organization skills. ( aka bossiness).

 

On the note of organization , Sometimes I feel I must be one of the few people who can't cope without lists. I love my lists . I'm not talking about scribbled notes on little pieces of paper. I have detailed computerized lists for everything. I have a 40 page itemized  grocery list of everything I might ever buy and its itemized by aisles and alphabetically.

 

 I even have an itemized cleaning list. Listing all chores , days they get done etc. I even have a list for items to be done monthly etc.

 

 Okay I admit it im a very organized person. I don't care that other peoples homes are untidy, or they are 6 months behind with the bills because they can't find them. I'm not here to change other people . We are all different and as such we all have different priorities.

 

 When things don't go right, go left.

Very Cliché but couldn't resist it.

 

 

 

God Made Me For A Purpose

 

This weekend was a lot of fun. I'm still not feeling 100% but decided I needed to get out and have fun. There was a large festival on in the city Saturday and I decided to go. I messaged a former work colleague and arranged to meet up with her and her husband. I said I wasn't going to drink much but it was outside it was hot and I was enjoying myself.  Always a person to try new things. I had a Red wine with Cola.

 

Apparently it's a Hungarian specialty. Sounded like BS to me but I've never been to Hungary. So, if anyone can enlighten me to the authenticity please do. My thoughts on the drink. I think Red Wine should be drank undiluted and Cola goes best with rum.  

On the other hand they had amazing Rum Punch.

 

 Rum is by far my favourite alcoholic drink and mixing it into a piña colada is the best thing ever. I love pineapple and coconut.  I was planning to stay until the end but I got the bus home at 11pm after overdoing the beverages. Typical.  

Have you ever had that issue with your other half about what to watch on tv. We have an on demand Movie Channel with more than enough movies to cause conflict when people with different tastes try to pick a movie to watch. As we did last night.

I wanted to watch the Omen. The old one with Gregory Peck. He wanted Castaway with Tom Hanks. Eventually after he sat there sulking that I like to control the remote ( actually true).  We eventually found a movie we both like ( a miracle).
So, I settled down with a bag of sour cream and onion chips to watch Chariots Of Fire. I had forgotten how awesome the movie is. Not entirely true to facts but Eric Liddell was a man .of immense faith , dedication and devotion.

I love his quote " I believe that God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast and when I run I feel his pleasure.

 I think we can all take something from that. We may not all be fast but I think God takes pleasure from seeing us excel and enjoy what makes us happy.

  For those people concerned about my appearance from my hospital bed. A pic to show you I am actually back looking my awesome gorgeous self.

 

Wish The Brain Had An Off Switch

 

 

She was a phantom of delight. When first she gleamed upon my sight; A lovely Apparition, sent to be a moments ornament. -William Wordsworth.

What a terrible nights sleep. I had a pounding headache all night that painkillers wouldn't touch. I even started getting paranoid during the night that I was having a stroke and took my blood pressure three times. But it was fine. The problem as you know when you can't sleep is that your brain starts to invent non existent problems for you to solve. In the light of the morning I'm thinking why did I invest many hours last night worrying about reorganizing my closet which I had vaguely planned to do today.   

   On a brighter note I'm going to be a grandma. I have known for a month but had to wait until they made the announcement. So, I now have a photo of the  3D ultrasound and a video of the baby moving. Amazing what they do these days.


This song is dedicated to the people of Barcelona. A city I love and being a descendent of the people of Catalonia one I feel a cherished connection too.

 

 

Friendship

Friendship isn't about who you've known the longest. Its about who walked into your life, said I'm here for you and proved it.

 

 

 

 

I finally got out of the hospital 7pm last night. The doctors were finally satisfied I was as normal as I was ever going to be. I was feeling really down and bored yesterday morning I was only expecting to spend a few hours in hospital not a couple of days. But my alternative lifestyle friends came to the rescue. They'd sent me text messages before surgery and in the evening to see how I was doing.They really kept my spirits up for the past two days. A few even came to see me briefly yesterday on their lunch break and after work. They brought me much needed supplies cell phone charger, earphones so I could listen to my music, magazines, chocolate, toiletries and one total darling even went and bought me new panties. He surprisingly even guessed the right size. I felt much brighter after that. Even though they only stayed a short time they showed me they cared and that was very special.

Every morning I am reborn

 

 

Every night when I go to sleep I die. Every morning when I wake up I am reborn.


Yesterday I got myself all ready for my surgery at 10am. I was very nervous and was beginning to regret all the offers from friends to come along to the hospital and sit with me. I said I'd be fine with a book. James Patterson is a great author but not even he was working with distraction.
 I was all gowned up and last thing I remember is being wheeled into the theatre. When I woke up I was hooked up to machines , I started panicking because I had a breathing tube in. I'm thinking what the heck happened I only went in for a minor procedure.
 It seems just as they were beginning surgery I had a severe reaction to either the sedative or the anaesthetic. My blood pressure shot up to 225/ 140 and I briefly stopped breathing. They had to resuscitate me and rush me to intensive care. I was of course blissfully unaware of any of this and thought afterwards it wouldn't of been such a bad way to die. The doctors were concerned I'd had a stroke but I don't feel any different. Limbs are working, no slurred speech. I'm going for a brain scan this morning just to check for any bleeds or changes that are not apparent. Then I'm hoping they will let me home. I didn't come in prepared for a hospital stay. I need to go to sleep in my own bed. You can't sleep hooked up to monitors all night.

Waiting to go for my brain scan this morning.

 

                                    All the darn wires i'm hooked up to so I cant move.

 

      New Beginnings- Helen Steiner Rice.   

   How often we wish for another chance to have a fresh beginning.  A change to blot out our mistakes and change failure into winning. It does not take a new year to make a brand new start. It only takes a deep desire to try with all your heart. To live a little better and to always be forgiving. To add sunshine to the world in which we are living. So, never give up in despair and think that you are through. For there's always a tomorrow and a chance to start anew.