Oh What A Night

                                                                     Oh what a night. I’m still a little traumatized. I’m still smiling in work but I’m quiet. Everyone keeps asking me what’s wrong and I say im just tired. What happened last night was Doomsayer got angry really angry. He was really drunk and I stood up to him but I was really afraid. He’s been really nice to me the past few days. Not normal behaviour for him. So, I’d been trying to figure out what his angle was. Anyway I was in the kitchen last night and he starts trying to touch me, so I just moved away. Then he asks if I want to dress in stockings and a thong and he could give me a massage. I said no thank you. We haven’t had sex or slept in the same bed for 2years. Then he just exploded . I had my back against the kitchen counter and he had his hands on the counter either side of me so I couldn’t move. He just let rip with a torrent of abuse. His face was so close to mine I could feel his breath and spit on my face. I could feel my hands shaking and I was biting my inside lip trying not to cry. But, I managed to keep my outer composure and told him to take his hands off me.  He moved away and went to pour himself a drink and I took the opportunity to go lock myself in the bathroom. I sat on the floor in the bathroom with my face in a towel . Using the towel to both muffle my crying and to breath into to steady my breathing.  Once I felt calm I left the bathroom and went into the living room and sat on the sofa he was sat on the other. He never spoke to me but I could hear him muttering to himself calling me a fucking bitch. I forced myself to sit there for an hour I don’t want him to think I’m afraid of him. Lying in bed later all this stuff is going through my head. Why didn’t I knee him in the balls or try to headbutt him. But, that was all after thoughts and in reality I’m not into physical confrontation.