Courage

What a horrible week. I just want it to end.

My good friend had phoned me on Monday saying she had chest pain and asked me what to do. I told her to go to emergency, if it's serious your wasting time going to the doctor first. I suspected from her description a heart problem but after being admitted and 3 days of tests she's diagnosed with Liver Cancer. I'm trying to be positive and strong for her but inside I'm in shock and trying to deal with it . I deal far better with being sick myself.

 Another friend left her husband on Tuesday. Very unexpected she just moved out while he was at work. She said people don't know what goes on behind closed doors and that's very true. I also understand the planning involved in doing a flit like that. The people slamming her for not telling him prior or trying counselling obviously have never experienced what it's like to live with an abusive partner. I admire her courage sometimes physical fear and been left destitute with your children leaves us paralyzed and unable to make a smart choice. Especially when we feel isolated because our family lives in another country. Sometimes we are lucky enough to have people sent by God to empower us and help us to regain our confidence, self esteem and regain control over our lives. 


                                                     

Very good question and one I wish I could answer.    



                     As if my friends tribulations were not enough to contend with , the thing causing me most stress was the fact Doomsayer (aka husband) , refused to go to work all week. He said he's sick. But, he's only sick until the liquor store opens. He's spent the entire week sat on the couch watching the same channel rerun after rerun. Then yesterday he got into a fight with my oldest son. When I came home from work he was locked in the bathroom. He couldn't phone me because I took his cell phone off him a year ago after an incident when I was at a funeral. A story for another time. He had pushed my son too far and was afraid he was going to hit him. I went outside to speak to my son who said he was provoking him calling him abusive names and poking him. I'm proud my son had enough self control not to punch him since he's twice doomsayers size. I told my son to go to his friends house until things settled down. My son didn't want to go but I said I'd be fine dealing with him. Of course the name calling switched attention to me but I just ignored him and tried to watch tv . Eventually he fell asleep and I rewatched a couple of shows since I hadn't been able to watch them properly earlier then I went to bed. I heard him slam his bedroom door at 3am. Then I'm awake and I have to up at 5am for work. So, I'm exhausted this morning. The only bright spot in my week was meeting my special friend twice. His face just makes me smile and I feel so safe curled up in his arms. He certainly makes the bad days livable.